December 28/365 About Writing

In four days, there will be 365 entries and this project ends. Then I will hand it over to my son to help with formatting the blog so that it displays chronologically, and has more useful search buttons. And it will then become static, a thing done and finished. I don’t know right now how I feel about that, or even how I feel about the collection as a whole.

Writing plagues me. Reading soothes.

Amos Oz died today. I watched an interview with him on PBS where he talked animatedly about how the muse worked with him. He started with characters, always with fully-developed people interacting in his head, creating dramas, long before putting a single word on a page. I thought, how very Jewish that seems, to have a whole shtetl in your head, how loud it must get as the dynamics build, and how this would motivate a writer to get to work. Anything to get these people out of your head!

No one is in my head right now, no voices but my own.

I cannot put a finger upon the thing that works for me. I cannot touch the center of the moment when a word forms that seems right, and then the next that simply belongs with the first. There is in this process a mystery, and there is in it also a basic flexing of a muscle, an exercise of some part of the brain that needs to be trained. I am in bad shape, flabby, a lazy person at heart who would rather curl up in the safe arms of a book.

I rely too much on the mystery.




4 thoughts on “December 28/365 About Writing

  1. I am having a difficult time writing too.

    If your son figures out how to make a WordPress blog chronological (as opposed to reverse-chronological), let me know. I know how to do most other things on this platform, but not that.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Who needs others’ voices when one’s own voice is so divine? And even if your writing habits are self-described as flabby, your writing is anything but that–it’s gloriously buxom, like the woman who played Joan on Mad Men.

    Liked by 3 people

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